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I'm 23 and was given $50k. What should I do?

Given this post there is a comment saying:

"I am sorry to hear about your loss."

I flagged it on the day being posted as not constructive (as I can't see in what way this will help any reader that gets to OP by google and reading the comment).

Today I noticed it got declined and the comment now is even highly upvoted (pushing useful comments even away as long you don't expand the list of comments.)

So I really can't see why my flag was inappropiate. I even see more informations given in comments like "wow, great answer +1" which are all over forbidden.

But here someone without knowledge about what's the correct answer gets at least an indication of views about its contents.

While I aggree this is not objective in contrast to the value of SE's voting systems, it anyway will still never be of less value than a comment like the one cited above. So what rule makes that comment valuable and even determined by upvotes highly usefull?

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Flags should be used for things that require a mod's attention. 100 comments each saying "sorry" would get annoying, and the system would trigger a flag. But 1 comment with +100 upvotes isn't really a big deal.

What's strange to me is why this concerns you. You've neither asked nor answered any questions on Money.SE. Why did this even cause you such grief to discuss it here?

Glancing at the trail of comments above, each SE board has its own personality. There is a bit of black and white, call another member a bad name, and the comment is near certain to be deleted. A good reference that adds to the answer will stay. A lot is gray. An "I'm sorry" comment from 4 months back? It's not at the top of the list to delete.

"Now that all the accountants and bean counters have responded... buy a Lamborghini, a mansion in Columbia, a helicopter, a Russian bride and just live life to the max!"

This is a comment that serves little purpose, but we have 3 mods, and aren't likely to clean these all up.

  • grief is maybe the wrong word for it. Well I'm "suffering" by a social disability making it hard for me taking things not literarly (short form). So all my social interaction is about applying rules. Because everything else I'm about to fail (Or I dont know, I don't even ever really get it I'm on the wrong or right if there is just a little bit of uncertainty) That is on the one why I really love my job (programmer working with protocols, you know they are so strictly defined, if you apply the rules, there is nothing between 100% wrong or 100% right), and on the other hand, thats why I ..... – Zaibis Jan 22 '16 at 14:28
  • ..... really like the stack exchange platform. Since it is really strict in its rules aswell. I can contribute to the community by just applying rules in the same way (and I like to do it!). But for the same reason this kind of posts makes me getting trouble. (just a side note: I didn't flag the comment again, I flagged it 4 months ago when it was just posted) since if there is not any strict rule about it, I probably will fail to get the point the next time I see a comment like this as well. In a recent discussion I got told for that reason I should just stop contributing on topics I don't... – Zaibis Jan 22 '16 at 14:31
  • ... feel certain about but that would almost equal stop contributing, and sorry, I would prefer improving my set of applicable rules, while every time I'm starting a post like this I'm risking to get "shitstormed". that is all about it and that is as well, why I'm asking for a rule describing the difference. – Zaibis Jan 22 '16 at 14:33
  • By the way, thanks for your calm, not harrasing and thoughtful(while not directly getting the core of my post) words. – Zaibis Jan 22 '16 at 14:35
  • I've just read these comments. My kind advice to you is to let it go. If the topic itself is of interest, by all means, stay, read, and learn. I am convinced that someone who spends the time here (say, just 20 minutes a day) will be better educated on personal finance than 90% of people. I'd suggest, however, ignoring these issues. At least until you've read for quite a while or started to participate in a meaningful way. The board is self-moderating, to a degree. Members can vote a question to close it, if it's spam, a duplicate, or otherwise truly offensive. – JoeTaxpayer♦ Jan 22 '16 at 16:47
  • Comment deletion requires moderation action, and unless it's really offensive, should not be flagged. As Ben stated, if the OP somehow took offense for whatever reason, we'd have done a quick purge of the comment(s). – JoeTaxpayer♦ Jan 22 '16 at 16:49
  • Is this a general right of the OP's poster? To request comment clearance if he feels (somehow at least) reasonable offended, even if it is not really an offense? Or is it just the way the cew over here is handling it? Out of coriosity, because I feel some times offended by comments some are asking especially on stack overflow it is some times pretty rude. – Zaibis Jan 22 '16 at 19:26
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    You continue to seek a level of rigid structure that simply doesn't apply here. If you were offended on another stack, I'm sorry, but you should address it there. If you want a 6-sigma level of rules, you won't find it here. Mods are volunteers, not paid at all, let alone like a 6-sigma black belt. I respect and understand where you are coming from, but life is too short for me to continue this dialogue. I have a 1000 pages of tax code to read. – JoeTaxpayer♦ Jan 22 '16 at 19:55
  • Nono, the last comment was just an question out of curiosity. Nothing else or argument of discussion. I'm respecting your point allready, nevertheless its not of help for me, thats not changing anything about your word as it is. – Zaibis Jan 22 '16 at 20:12
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I just dismissed a similar flag on this comment, so I thought I'd come here and explain my reasoning. (FWIW, I don't know who the flagger was.)

While I accept the comment isn't strictly necessary, having a single friendly comment that people can upvote on a post of this nature seems ok to me. It makes the site feel a bit more human and doesn't really get in the way.

Of course it's a very different matter when comment threads degenerate into lots of personal comments, particularly negative ones. We delete those very aggressively when we see them.

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I think a short, friendly, kind sentiment in the comments is constructive enough. They are much more rare than rude comments, and, in my opinion, should be more welcome.

Additionally, with the comment voting feature, the comments didn't get clogged with 107 people all saying the same thing. It only needed to be written once, and people could add their agreement without any additional clutter.

I would argue that "I am sorry to hear about your loss" is a more constructive comment than a simple "wow, great answer +1," which is already implied by an upvote. However, even a "+1" comment can serve a constructive purpose, putting a name to an otherwise anonymous upvote or putting an emphasis on a particular excerpt from the answer that the commenter thought was noteworthy.

This particular question got featured on the "Hot Network Questions" list, which means that it got more attention, more votes, more answers, and more comments than most questions. But that's not a bad thing, and should not be discouraged. Deleting that comment serves no purpose.

  • First: "Use comments to ask for clarification or add more information. Avoid comments like “+1” or “thanks"." So as I'm saying in OP: I think "+1" comments have some value for the same reason you explained. anyway, they are discouraged. doesn't matter what you or I think about it. And if I'm so wrong I would like to see a reference or a way to meassure the "constructivity" of an not post related comment. How do I know when saying sorry for that is constructive and when it isn't? Is there some wording to have an eye on? – Zaibis Jan 21 '16 at 16:34
  • Or does the fact that this kind of comment on a similiar post of mine got removed while this one is still there just mean the community may feel free to express who they like and who they disslike with theese kinds of comments? I mean if there are rules, why it is to apply them for person a) and not for person b) should I feel offended by who ever made the comment saying some one is sorry with me, dissappear? Untill now I was just thinking "hey, rules are rules"... – Zaibis Jan 21 '16 at 16:34
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    @Zaibis I can't really comment on the other comment that you are talking about, since I haven't seen it or the question that it was on. The decision on whether or not to delete a comment is entirely up to the discretion of the moderator that reviews it. I'm not a moderator, but if I was I would not delete the comment on the question we are talking about here, for the reasons I stated. – Ben Miller Jan 21 '16 at 16:52
  • Well it was quite the same kind of comment. I accidently droped a phrase that could lead to the assumption of a loss. I don't like it for my self and I was the one flagging it. Since I don't like beeing pityed on. Don't assume here thats why I don't like if others do so. I know and understand that some maybe welcome this. But anyway here are rules given that say all posts should be restricted to informative topic related contend. and if there are exceptions for what ever the case they should be named. Because even more it cant be that different persons can decide who deserves pity and who not. – Zaibis Jan 21 '16 at 17:00
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    @Zaibis If you, as the OP, flagged a similar comment on your own question, a moderator would be more inclined to delete the comment than if someone else had flagged it. I have also done this: I have flagged comments on my own question, because they were about me and I didn't want to see them anymore. A moderator would not have deleted the comments on his own, but seeing that it bothered me (the OP), he deleted them anyway. If the OP in this question flagged the comment, a moderator might delete it, but since there is no evidence here that the OP is bothered by it, the comment stands. – Ben Miller Jan 21 '16 at 17:10
  • Well since I just flagged it as not constructive and not needing mod attention by just stating it, I doubt. And anyway you also just can guess. The point is. If you express beeing strict in rules like SE does, you should beeing strict with it or express in some way how and where exceptions are tollerated. Thats all I'm about here. – Zaibis Jan 21 '16 at 17:20
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I suggest you imagine that Stack Exchange is a federation, i.e. a "partially self-governing states or regions under a central (federal) government", and that Money is one of those self-governing states. Some of how we have decided to act w.r.t. comments and their flagging will be particular to this site.

Other Stack Exchange sites (especially those that are profession-oriented) may have chosen to value information content at the expense of other concerns — because questions might tend primarily to be intellectual, academic, or professional challenges.

Here at Money, we value information content, too, but we also encourage civility, empathy, and sympathy because questions can arise from the personal crises of those asking. These kinds of questions are in a different class than "How can I solve this tricky programming problem?"

While the death of a loved one or (say) a personal bankruptcy or a divorce/separation can have financial implications that create interesting questions to be asked here, such events can be life-changing and impactful for those asking.

Personal finance is personal, not abstract and theoretical, and so we may acknowledge a crisis the OP may be facing by using phrases like "I'm sorry for your loss" or "That's unfortunate". This is especially the case when a commenter may have been through a similar crisis in their own past.

  • I can udnerstand that. But the point is, the help site about this doesn't differ from those other sites. So having different lawsuit results by the same law textes is what confuses me (in regards to your example) – Zaibis Jan 26 '16 at 7:58
  • @Zaibis That's merely an inaccurate implementation detail. – Chris W. Rea Jan 27 '16 at 0:08

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