Mom made me cosign a car with her because her credit is bad and now the account has gotten charged off

I write an answer, gets a few upvotes, then boom.

GS - Apologise to Monica comes in edits my answer to oblivion, and then almost instantly it is a bomb of downvotes.

I don't really care about the mods feedback. I am just writing this so that people understand why intelligent people no longer use SE as much. Continue modding terribly and pushing political/ideological agendas and anyone with a brain can see right through it. I have to say it is rather brilliant when you are a mod and you don't like something that you change the answer and bomb it with downvotes!

  • See also this meta question: money.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3014/… Jul 19, 2021 at 14:54
  • @DJClayworth - yea your answer was destroyed too. It is crazy. You know this opens SE for getting sued - because now I can formally request all of my answers get wiped as they no longer represent me but are under my name. How yours is different from mine is right after the edit mine was bombed almost instantly with 5 downvotes. No way that is normal user activity.
    – blankip
    Jul 19, 2021 at 15:08
  • The one problem I see to this "question" is that it isn't really a question. But I think the text here may be supportive as answer to DJClayworth's question (linked here). (Or perhaps the question I was typing up when this got posted.)
    – TOOGAM
    Jul 19, 2021 at 15:08
  • 3
    I don't think we have any logs to double-check, but I am fairly sure your answer was already at -5 or so before I touched it. Jul 19, 2021 at 16:37
  • @GS-ApologisetoMonica - yea so an answer that is very logical with no comments disagreeing has just a flood of downvotes right when it is changed. Funny.
    – blankip
    Jul 19, 2021 at 16:57
  • 5
    @blankip: You can request dissociation (i.e. the removal of your name from any or all of your answers) via the "Contact" link in the page footer. If you do not start there, then you will not be suing anyone. Note that they will not remove your content outright, because you have already agreed to irrevocably license it under CC-BY-SA 3. You are not permitted to retract that licensing.
    – Kevin
    Jul 19, 2021 at 20:33

2 Answers 2


I won’t address whether or not the mod edit was appropriate. But mods do not have the power to cause downvotes. Also, while the post was locked, it was impossible for anyone to vote your answer up or down. I have left a comment on your answer that I believe explains why your answer has received downvotes, but since this meta question is here, I thought I would answer it here as well. I believe the downvotes have nothing to do with the mod edit.

Before the edit, your point #1 is describing a person that you know nothing about. You have taken it a step further than DJClayworth to say that, not only did the mother do something wrong here, that she always does this as a pattern, which you don't know. You then go on to blame the OP, which I think many see as over the top and is also speculative.

This original point #1 was taken out by the mod, so the downvotes you received after that point are not because of this. But apparently there were downvotes and a flag based on this that prompted the mod’s action.

Left after the mod edit, your point #2 (originally #3) is probably not a smart idea. You acknowledge this yourself when you say, “You should never co-sign, ever.” Even with your alternative scheme, you still have most of the same problems as anyone does with co-signing: As soon as payments are missed, there are dings on your credit report, and you either have to start making payments or try to get rid of a car that is likely upside-down in value. It is best just to stick with “never co-sign.”

I imagine that most of the downvotes you have received since the mod edit are because of this point.


Your answer there was fine, but it's only fine to a different question - "My [person] asked me to cosign a car loan. What should I be aware of? What are the risks?"

The answer, after the fact, isn't helpful to the OP. And while I acknowledge that "because others might look at this for help" is actually useful, it would have been better to first answer the question as asked.

To be fair - there are many times we have this issue, new members asking for help after the fact, and we, I included, often give a warning to the future visitor but do little to help the OP. It's almost like you are saying "it's too late to help you, but let's try to help others from making this same mistake." Right?

All of this is separate from the Mod edit. Once GS edited the first answer, your line, using the same phrase, needed editing as well.

I'm sorry you feel this way. In general, I think we rarely make this type of edit in questions or answers. I know I've changed "your tax guy is a moron" to "you tax guy seems to have made an error" or similar, but not more than every few months, if that much.

We are at a point where I think we agree that "be nice" is something we'd like to stick to, but perhaps can't agree on where that line is. I'm in favor of a very low tolerance of ad hominem attacks and offensive language. I don't know how to articulate the line, but maybe to where we are as kind as we'd expect to hear one's 6 year old child speak. Is it acceptable if she came home and said "I got a C on my test, my teacher screwed me!" This is not "policy", it's an attempt to move forward in a way that's part of a community discussion on where the line is. I almost was going to suggest "The language you'd be comfortable using in your house of worship", which of course leaves out our valued atheist members, or "how you'd talk in front of your mother-in-law" which has its own problems.

And, no matter how we arrive at a reasonable consensus, we'll have new members who don't read the FAQ, Take the Tour, etc, as well as seasoned members who would interpret any guidance differently. We mods are aware of the gray area, and even with issues of what's on topic, often chat, and are sensitive to erring on the side of caution. When I see a meta "why was my question closed" I'm happy to look and see it was 5 non-mods who voted it closed. It means the system is working. There are other times we'll intervene quickly, depending on the issue.

It may be time to have a meta question on how to narrow the gray area of the line between kind and unkind. These are just my own thoughts toward that goal.

  • 3
    I don’t think that the “screwed” language was the worst part of blankip’s answer. It was the unfounded extrapolation that he made to say that the mother has a pattern of doing this, and blaming the OP/victim for “enabling” this behavior. That’s really what violated “Be nice” and was inappropriate, and editing different words but keeping the same ideas wouldn’t fix that problem.
    – Ben Miller
    Jul 24, 2021 at 23:50
  • @BenMiller-RememberMonica - as with any issue, there are layers to all of this, along with all going off in a different direction. I am trying to float a trial balloon here, to see if there's interest in discussing the line for "be nice". As I see it, there is literally nothing we can do to keep both the "you are censoring my free speech" and the "I can't believe you talk to each other this unkindly, do you do this in person as well?" groups happy. Keep in mind, GS was reacting to a flag on the original post. I don't think we mods scrutinize (or even read) even single Q&A looking for trouble Jul 25, 2021 at 12:36

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